I went through a fairly tough moment Sunday. And it wasn't from the rigors of an Olympic tri, nor was it from my 5th grade students. It was from someone diminutive, yet powerful and forceful enough to move mountains if they so please. Today's defeat came from my daughter. Her emotional outbursts whopped my a$$ today. And I learned a valuable lesson from it...
My daughter, whom I affectionately call "Chipmunk" (I woke up one morning to find she left bite marks on the top bars of her crib), is entering the Terrible Two's. Half of her responses center around the word "No". She whines. She has meltdowns. She throws things, like food, toys, and anything else she can get her hands on. It's a sight to see-sometimes. My wife has done a much better job of reading up on how to get toddlers to curtail their crankiness. I strictly follow her lead. This morning, however was one for the birds. I decided to be a good little daddy and take Chipmunk out for a walk while Mom got some rest. I propped in the stroller and made a B-Line for the park. It started off well enough, until she fussed with me when I kept giving her pushes on the swing. I asked her if she wanted to go on the slides. She nodded her head. Just to be sure, I asked again, and she nodded her head. So can someone explain to me why she fell out on the floor and put on a hissy-fit tantrum when I took her out of the swing?
I responded the way I always joked I would respond if my child had a tantrum in public: I left her right where she was and went along my way in the opposite direction. It didn't work the way I hoped it would. She still cried and didn't quite get up. The good news was that since the park was empty, I felt I could use this time to establish some ground rules about how to conduct ourselves in public. The bad news was that there were some women with their kids heading right towards us, about to occupy some park space. How lovely...
I convinced Chipmunk to go back on the swings, but she continued to put on the waterworks. As her waterworks flowed, I couldn't help but notice that next to the swings was a water sprinkler. THAT'S what she wanted. I asked her if she wanted to run in the water. She enthusiastically said yes. Sadly, I had to deliver the bad news that we couldn't do that. And with that came more tantrums and tears. I decided it was time to call it a day, what with the other park-goers gleefully using the swings, smiling away, yet slowly starting to stare at me. Have you ever tried putting a crying, defiant child in a stroller? You'll have more success eating soup with a fork. Honestly, this might've been tougher than the swimming leg of a tri.
I told my wife the story when we got home. She suggested I go online and Google "how to deal with temper tantrums". This some of what I learned:
1) Do NOT give in to her tantrum, whatsoever. Giving in to her screaming, foot-stamping demands lays the groundwork for a screaming, foot-stamping teenager (I knew this already, but reading it was extra reinforcement)
2) Ask her what she wants. Toddlers get tantrums when they cannot convey their feelings and wants into words. As my wife said, "Their comprehension grows faster than their ability to speak".
3) Don't worry about the other people if my child have a public meltdown. My objective was/is to calm my DAUGHTER down, not make the atmosphere pleasant for strangers. I should've found a quiet corner and given her time to regain her composure (Now THIS I didn't know. I will store this and use it for future reference)
4) Offer an alternative to pull her attention from whatever it is that's got her frustrated. Something along the lines of, "No, chipmnk. We can't go in the water. But we can go...." (Again, useful to store).
5) When all else fails, maybe a good 'ol hug will settle the nerves (A hug for ME, not her).
So that was my Sunday morning. I also found out the best time to get a ride around Forest Park is during the early morning hours, between 8-10 a.m. The roads are VERY free.
33 days until the FDNY Tri in Orchard Beach. I'm off to Savannah for a week. The running shoes are packed. My goal is to log 4 miles a day.
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