T.P. or not T.P. That is the question...

I've run in 3 duathlons and one (soon to be two) triathlon. Far from a veteran. However, there is one aspect of multi-sport competition that I've become an outright master in. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that preparing for race day goes beyond the miles you've run or the laps you've swam. Race day is also a time to come prepared. Prepared with what, you might ask? I'll tell you: toilet paper. You read right-toilet paper. In my opinion, it's an absolute must to include on your checklist.

As with virtually all athletes, the closer you get to your starting time on race day, the more you get a feeling in your stomach that you cannot ignore. It's only a case of the nerves, but those nerves seem to have a way of making you feel VERY uncomfortable. The next thing you know, you're looking for the nearest Port-O-Potty with hopes of settling yourself down. If you've ever been inside one of these, there is nothing fun about the experience: they stink, they look and feel unsanitary, and depending on the time of day you use it, they can be unbearably warm. Now, imagine having no alternative but to use one on race day, only to find out that you have nothing to clean yourself with.

But you've gotta love the culture within multi-sport. You can tell whose been through the ringer a time or three. My first race was the March Madness Duathlon in April 2007. I was lucky enough to have access to a real bathroom. As I got closer to the men's room, I noticed there were two lines, one noticeably shorter than the other. Then I saw a guy asking the men on both lines, "What are you, a 1 or a 2?" Confused was an understatement to describe my mind set. As I watched the competitors go in and out, I noticed some people zipping through within seconds, whereas others took a few minutes. "Aaaaaaah", It hit me: 1's had to make the quick pit stop, 2's had to drop the kids off by the pool. I was lucky enough to be on the right line, but when I got to the stall, I realized I had the wrong tools. Oh, there was t.p. alright. But who wants to take care of themselves with wet, mushy, t.p?

But alas, the community: always willing to help random strangers out. I heard someone ask if anyone needed some paper, and from my stall, hand shooting over the top space, I screamed out, "Right here! RIGHT HERE!!" He found me, I got a fresh roll, and all was right with the world.

So please, rookies, as you go over your list and your race plan, don't forget the toilet paper. Should you get the rumbling in your belly on race day, and you're stuck without the necessities, you have two options: 1) go on with your race and that bad feeling (I've done that, too. Not good) or 2) well, you can imagine what your second option is.

Some random thoughts from the world as I see it:

*The Lakers signed Ron Artest. The Cavs traded for Shaq. The Magic traded for Vince Carter. My favorite team, the Spurs, traded for Richard Jefferson. The Knicks got...Darco Milicic. Fill in your own joke.

*Funny how it took mainstream media less than a week to get over praising MJ, only to make his life a circus all over again. Joe Jackson didn't help matters with his announcement of a record label two days after his son died. Hey Joe, no one important wants to be a part of "Get a Switch" records. You beat people, remember?

*I used to take my wife to Yankee games. That had to stop when she would read her gossip mags in the middle of an inning, paying no attention to what was going on-unless Jeter or A-Roid were at bat. The last thing I needed was a foul ball cracking the Mrs. upside the head.

*If you're running for political office, you should not be married. All politicians should be single. That way, you can get your freak on and not damage "the integrity of your office or our country".

*I've got to get myself to a theater. I'm hearing great things about "The Hangover".

The plan is to get some swimming in today. I would love to get some open water swimming in, but I'll settle for a pool. I have 16 days until the Mossman Sprint Tri in Norwalk, CT. Until next time...

Soul Brother No. 2